This is an aimless blog that gives voices to small joys, quirky happenstances, everyday occurrences, and occasional pesterings as the author navigates her life paths as an educator, transplanted Wyomingite, traveler, and curiosity seeker.
What a feeling it is to wake up with light in the morning. Just this week I noticed on the bus ride back from Narva on Tuesday that it is still light at 7:00 p.m. Perhaps my dwelling on light seems a bit melodramatic, but I contend that it makes all the difference. Today, on the vernal equinox, I am feeling more spring in my step, even if the temperatures have dipped and there are skiffs of snow hanging on.
A visitor from Budapest helped me to put it in perspective. It's so amazing how seeing your life through someone else's eyes puts you to thinking about how things really are in a whole new way. His sharp camera eye and insightful comments/questions caused me to pause and reconsider my life here in Tartu. After a short walk around my current hometown, my visitor commented, "You really love it here, don't you?" Uff! For once, even I did not have an instant reply. I thought about my weather-related complaints and sometimes sour mood about living abroad lately. Indeed, it did seem rather incongruent with the pitch I was selling to my guest. I stopped to think. Was I lying? If so, why? If not, was it true? Do I really love it here? Yikes.
Later in the day, this guest visited my classroom and had a chance to meet my students and see the teacher-me in action. In the conversation afterwards, I found myself explaining my job and my students and glowing about my work here. I am rather enthusiastic these days about my teaching; at any rate, I am feeling energized.
Still later in the same day, we went to a public lecture and discussion with other faculty members from the University of Tartu. In this warm atmosphere and in the presence of this guest, I had more than a fleeting thought about how special Tartu is and how much it is beginning to feel like my home. Somehow, these familiar faces and places are important parts of my daily life. I don't know if I would have recognized these truths on my own, but, despite my lack of or abundance of awareness, they are nonetheless true.
I don't know if it is the increasing number of hours of daylight, the passing of a rough patch of culture shock, or a late-coming settling into the local culture (after one year and five months here), but I feel good these days and cannot wait for the onset of spring. I'll be waiting by for those tulips poking up out of the earth, spring rains, and warmer, sunnier days.
As they say around these parts, Häid ülestõusmispühi! Häid lihavõttepühi! Häid lihavõtteid! Häid munapühi! Häid kevadpühi!
I just got back from a three day visit to Narva, the northeastern most city in Estonia. The visit was fascinating and refreshing. Have a look for yourself through my picture album, below.
A friend forwarded a blog piece and email forward to me (found here and here), and I cannot resist but share it with all of you who still have questions about where I live and who lives here. It is a list of all the secrets of being Estonian... After a year and a half, I can chuckle at most of them, and, with a little imagination, you can certainly begin to imagine what it must like to be here. I have modified the list a bit to whittle it down, and I have included my own commentary in colored ink after the item in the list.
You use the word ‘normal’ if something is ok. This is true -- I hear it all the time and even start to use it myself!
When visiting friends abroad you bring along a box of Kalev chocolate. (the local brand of chocolate that you have also probably received as a gift if I have visited)
You attended a song festival at least once either as a performer or as a spectator. (see the documentary I mentioned, The Singing Revolution)
You know that going to the sauna is 80% about networking and 20% about washing
You are nationalistic about Skype (it is actually an Estonian company)
‘Kohuke’ belongs to your menu. These are funny little dessert bars made of kohupiim and covered with chocolate. I don't think they translate well, but they taste like mini-cheesecake bars covered with chocolate.
You declare your taxes on the internet like all modern people Can you imagine if the IRS was online? Can you imagine understanding your taxes well enough to be able to file them online? This is an intelligent place!
You actually believed for a while that Latvians had 6 toes per foot when you heard that as a child This is some sort of colorful local rivalry -- in the same way that we think of people from South Dakota or Iowa back home :)
You spent at least one midsummer in Saaremaa, Hiiumaa or one of the smaller islands Jaanipäev or midsummer is one of the biggest holidays of the year when Estonians make bonfires in the countryside in celebration of the summer solstice
Words like “veoauto”, “täieõiguslik” or “jää-äär” sound perfectly pronounceable to you These words seem completely crazy for an English speaker, but they do exist in abundance in Estonian. You just hold out the vowel longer if it is repeated. Craaaaaaaazy!
There can never be too much sarcasm
You are disappointed that Jaan Kross never got the Nobel prize in literature I am reading his works now and am also surprised -- he is truly a great!
It would not be surprising for English-speakers to find your name naughty (Peep, Tiit, Andres [sounds like undress]) or hippy (Rein, Rain) In addition to unusual names, I have to mention that it is also impossible to tell whether they are male or female. Any guesses?
You say ‘Noh’ (sounds like NO) even when you speak English, just to confuse people Nii... is also a pervasive filler, meaning "so..." You can even combine the two: Noni...
You would agree that wife-carrying is a real sport (at least as long as Estonians are winning) This is true -- you should see the media!
Your best friend’s girlfriend is your English teacher’s daughter and they live next door to your grandparents, who were colleagues with your adviser, who is friends with your… Yes, in a country of 1.3 million, everyone is related. It's worse than the area where my father comes from in North Dakota!
You think that any beverage below 20% is non-alcoholic Have I ever mentioned the popular local sport of drinking vodka straight out of the bottle in the park at night when it is -20 degrees?
You look in both directions before crossing the road, even if it’s a one-way street If you don't do this carefully, even when on a crosswalk, you may just not make it to the other side. During the dark months, people actually where reflectors and reflective tape on their jackets to avoid being mowed down
You grin very mysteriously when people ask about your national food Why is this? Because it consists of potatoes, meat, gravy, cabbage, and an assortment of dairy products? Hmmm... (see point about sarcasm, above)
You teach a non-Estonian speaker the word “Tänan” before “Aitäh” I don't understand this reference, but it is true. The trick is that I have heard exactly three people use "Tänan" since arriving in Estonia. Why do they teach a word that no one says?
When someone asks you “where is Estonia?” you quickly reply that it’s located in Northern Europe close to Finland… This shows the local perspective and identity. Who wants to be located by their powerful eastern neighbor?
Sour cream tastes good with everything Indeed, it is served ubiquitously along with dill, the Estonian national spice
You have ever worn or seen anyone wear “karupüksid” The literal translation is something like "bear pants." They must have been the precursor to ski pants because I haven't seen anyone wearing bear pants lately!
You find yourself continually ignoring the gender in other languages My students sometimes have difficulty with pronouns in English. The words he and she do not exist in Estonian. They simply have ta that is used for both genders. A confusing place, if you ask me.
When someone says “Estonia is so beautiful” you answer almost without emotions “I know” A lovely contrast of local culture... extreme pride + reticence to emotional expression. Besides, I know that it really is true!
This strange idiom perfectly captures my affinity for Estonia at this moment.
The language teacher in me cannot resist a more precise explanation: When something gets under your skin, it bothers you. However, getting under your skin can also have a positive attribute meaning that it affects you deeply in an unforgettable sort of way. (See the Free Dictionary of Idioms.)
Let me explain why I am sharing this idiom with you.
I had an inspiration for a post about seasonal change that I never wrote, largely because I am too bothered by the climate here to protest any more. The gray warm winter has pushed me into a state of utter apathy that only spring can cure. Luckily enough, the sun is starting to peek out a bit more frequently and there are signs of spring's evolution all about. If you have lived abroad a few times, you become aware of how far culture shock can push you. Some of the less likable features of this beast have been manifesting themselves in my character lately -- intolerance, frustration, impatience, and exhaustion. These are the under my skin in a negative sense things I can share here.
However, I am an optimist and there have been a lot of positive ways that this quiet Nordic country has been getting under my skin and winning pieces of my heart lately. Here are some of the highlights:
I joined a group of local internationals here in Tartu for a book group focusing on the works of Jaan Kross. We just finished reading The Czar's Madman and are currently in the middle of Professor Marten's Departure. Reading these novels is incredibly insightful. They are historic novels that revolve around the times when Estonia was under Czarist Russia and ruled by aristocratic Baltic Germans who lived here at that time. Learning more about events and people through these readings has given me insights into Estonia's character. I can better place some pieces of life here into a historical background and can appreciate the patience and resilience of their national character.
Estonia celebrated 90 years of independence a couple of weeks ago (Palju õnne Eestimaale!). Although I am not sure why locals count 40 years of Russian occupation into the sum of their years of independence, I have been impressed by the celebrations and pride. Many places I have lived or traveled in have not had such pride. Elsewhere, young people have mentioned that their country is a dump or a place to leave, and I have spent time convincing locals to be proud of the nature/spirit/history. This is not something true of Estonia. I feel like people here have a sense of who they are and are quite confident in claiming their country as a piece of forested paradise. It feels so great to appreciate a place alongside the people who live here!
A group of my students and I went to see a documentary film made about the Estonia, The Singing Revolution (it is still showing in the U.S.). The film is a fantastic emotional and historical representation of some of the hardship that has faced the Estonian nation. It was poignant and moving. We followed our viewing with a two-hour discussion about personal stories and experiences. I came away with so many touching personal comments; I can't help but respect this place and the people who live here.
Finally, I went to a local concert of an Estonian group, Bonzo ja Tõun last Thursday. Admittedly, I didn't understand much of their Estonian language, but I understood enough to appreciate the humor and talent present. They are a funny duo singing and playing guitar and harmonica, telling jokes and sharing asides. The concert was in a cozy black box theater. I share this experience because, even with my poor linguistic grasp on the evening, I felt included and part of an intimate group of people, more an insider than outsider, and this is a new realization and recent feeling for me here in Estonia.
That's about all I have to share for now (and perhaps all you want to know) about my life in this small Baltic country that is ever so slowly getting under my skin.
Not for Estonians... Perhaps, better said in my world these days C is for Culture
I am cross-posting a little bit with my teaching blog; perhaps because I can't get my head around an interesting episode from last week.
Let me start at the beginning.
Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street? The beloved characters of Big Bird, Bert & Ernie, Oscar the Grouch, and Cookie Monster from this educational program are not part of my students' cultural background. Exported to many other places in Europe, it appears that Sesame Street did not make it to this Nordic, Baltic country. I began my class last week with a mention of Cookie Monster that turned into a longer conversation about children's programming. I am appalled and may just need to import some programming into my classwork. Don't these kinds of characters cross cultural differences?
Chocolate chip cookies are chewy In the midst of an activity looking at how to use and make a rubric for objective evaluation, I learned about another important cultural difference to do with cookie preferences.
First, we looked at a rubric rating the deliciousness of chocolate chip cookies from Teachervision.com. Next, we tasted a locally purchased store-bought cookie (dry, hard, full of preservatives) and rated it. Using the rubric's guidelines along with my own cultural values, it was clear to me that the first cookie should rate rather poorly (I gave it 13/20 points). For comparison, we then tasted and rated a homemade cookie fresh the same day from the oven of my home kitchen (soft, very chewy, not burnt, home ingredients). Using the rubric and my cultural intuition, there was no question that this was a better cookie (perhaps a bit egotistically, I give it 20/20 points).
You can probably already guess the outcome. First of all, the adults I was working with were unfamiliar with the use of rubrics. Secondly, they did not use the scoring guide and instead used their own personal backgrounds to determine the tastiness of the cookie. They gave a point value, but they could not justify it using the scoring rubric we had studied. The first store bought cookie got 17/20 points from my students. My homemade version got 11-13/20 points. When asked to justify their decision, the learners replied that they did not understand the "chewy" criteria. Apparently chewy is a negative cookie quality for an Estonian audience, and they could not reconcile their own opinions with the guide and the cookie samples.
C is for cultural differences Confused that my cookies were not the obvious favorites, I marched around to gather second opinions from anyone who would taste one of my cookies. Much to my chagrin, I discovered this cookie preference extends beyond the borders of Estonia. I proceeded to take my cookies to other Europeans and interrogate them for an evaluation of "chewy." As it turns out, most Europeans I asked (German, Danish, British) preferred a dry cookie over a soft one. Hmph. I just can't let it go. Who is right? How should a proper chocolate chip cookie be? As it turns out, Americans invented the chocolate chip cookie (heard of Tollhouse, anyone?), but that probably isn't enough to make me right. Living cultures adapt and redefine, so I suppose we are all right.
I can't resist but end this posting with a very catchy cookie song from a musical I saw last summer called A Year with Frog and Toad.
What about you? Chewy & moist or dry & crunchy cookies?
The Bangles almost had it right. I made my bus to Tallinn finally and spent one week walking like an Egyptian (although the vacation mostly involved sunbathing, eating, and snorkeling) in a tourist resort in Sharm el Sheikh. Here, for your viewing pleasure, are some of the highlights.
You've got to appreciate a country where Internet is a basic right. You find it in the usual places such as libraries and cafes. Here in Estonia, you also find it in the forest in the middle of nowhere (denoted by a square blue sign with an @ sign). Remarkably, Estonian Internet access is also free, even at the Tallinn airport. I don't know why the attitude towards offering Internet services is so different here than in other places, but I am often grateful.
Now is one of those moments. I've been working in Kuressaare, a town on the biggest Estonian island of Saaremaa, for the last week and planned to return to the mainland this evening. However, as we all know, the best laid plans are often foiled. There is a windstorm and none of the ferries have been operating today. Nothing to do but await the return of bus services; Internet access is a welcome distraction at the moment as I am nervous about the return. You see, I have booked a wonderful SUN vacation to Egypt, and my flight leaves tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. The last bus possibility today from the island, if the ferries are operating, is at 5:30 p.m. Keep your fingers crossed... in the meanwhile, I'll be nervously surfing through my exile from the mainland.
I had my first marsh experience this weekend in southern Estonia near Põlva at Valgesoo (direct English translation: White Marsh). Although I initially wasn't very keen on walking around in a wet marsh on a chilly day, I really liked it and I learned so much!
First of all, we strapped on snow shoes, gaiters, and poles for our walk to help keep us dry, above water/snow/slush, and to make us look really cool.
Then, we went through one of the only pine forests growing in such a tough marsh environment. Believe it or not, some of the small trees were over 200 years old. Talk about stunted growth!
We stopped for a snack of cranberries nestled underneath the shallow snow. My first tasting of cranberries in the wild -- Yummy!
This is an ant hill! Estonia has some really interesting marsh animal and plant life. We learned about these large ants and their colonies, plants that eat bugs (and small Estonian children?), and also an intoxicating flowering plant that causes people to sometimes fall asleep while collecting mushrooms (sounds like Oz, doesn't it?).
We climbed up this tower when were done to see where we had been. Whew! What a great view.
And that is how it is in an Estonian marsh on a Saturday afternoon. Just lovely.
Last week, I spent four days working in a little town in central Estonia, Viljandi at the Tartu University Viljandi Culture Academy working with staff there. It is a smaller town (population app. 20,000) and a bit quieter and folksier than Tartu. It is also something of an artistic enclave with the study of dance, theatre, music, handicrafts, Estonian culture, vernacular building, and visual arts housed there rather than at the more traditional university in Tartu. A breath of fresh air, this Bohemian community has a liberating and creative spirit. You can sense it from the moment you enter the door and are greeted by students breezing by in multi-colored scarves and funky hairstyles. I attended some dance examinations and a jazz concert, and I couldn't help but take in the handcrafted rugs and artwork hung in the doorways.
The atmosphere reminded me to take time to slow down and appreciate the creativity and beauty of being in such a wonderful place. To make the week even better, we were covered with the magic of snow falling wetly over us as I toured the town to learn of it's wintry secrets. After four days working in such an environment, I hope that I can slow down to take some of the freedom, inspiration, and expression of Viljandi back to my work in Tartu!