Under my skin

This strange idiom perfectly captures my affinity for Estonia at this moment.

The language teacher in me cannot resist a more precise explanation: When something gets under your skin, it bothers you. However, getting under your skin can also have a positive attribute meaning that it affects you deeply in an unforgettable sort of way. (See the Free Dictionary of Idioms.)

Let me explain why I am sharing this idiom with you.

I had an inspiration for a post about seasonal change that I never wrote, largely because I am too bothered by the climate here to protest any more. The gray warm winter has pushed me into a state of utter apathy that only spring can cure. Luckily enough, the sun is starting to peek out a bit more frequently and there are signs of spring's evolution all about. If you have lived abroad a few times, you become aware of how far culture shock can push you. Some of the less likable features of this beast have been manifesting themselves in my character lately -- intolerance, frustration, impatience, and exhaustion. These are the under my skin in a negative sense things I can share here.

However, I am an optimist and there have been a lot of positive ways that this quiet Nordic country has been getting under my skin and winning pieces of my heart lately. Here are some of the highlights:

• I joined a group of local internationals here in Tartu for a book group focusing on the works of Jaan Kross. We just finished reading The Czar's Madman and are currently in the middle of Professor Marten's Departure. Reading these novels is incredibly insightful. They are historic novels that revolve around the times when Estonia was under Czarist Russia and ruled by aristocratic Baltic Germans who lived here at that time. Learning more about events and people through these readings has given me insights into Estonia's character. I can better place some pieces of life here into a historical background and can appreciate the patience and resilience of their national character.

• Estonia celebrated 90 years of independence a couple of weeks ago (Palju õnne Eestimaale!). Although I am not sure why locals count 40 years of Russian occupation into the sum of their years of independence, I have been impressed by the celebrations and pride. Many places I have lived or traveled in have not had such pride. Elsewhere, young people have mentioned that their country is a dump or a place to leave, and I have spent time convincing locals to be proud of the nature/spirit/history. This is not something true of Estonia. I feel like people here have a sense of who they are and are quite confident in claiming their country as a piece of forested paradise. It feels so great to appreciate a place alongside the people who live here!

• A group of my students and I went to see a documentary film made about the Estonia, The Singing Revolution (it is still showing in the U.S.). The film is a fantastic emotional and historical representation of some of the hardship that has faced the Estonian nation. It was poignant and moving. We followed our viewing with a two-hour discussion about personal stories and experiences. I came away with so many touching personal comments; I can't help but respect this place and the people who live here.
  

• Finally, I went to a local concert of an Estonian group, Bonzo ja Tõun last Thursday. Admittedly, I didn't understand much of their Estonian language, but I understood enough to appreciate the humor and talent present. They are a funny duo singing and playing guitar and harmonica, telling jokes and sharing asides. The concert was in a cozy black box theater. I share this experience because, even with my poor linguistic grasp on the evening, I felt included and part of an intimate group of people, more an insider than outsider, and this is a new realization and recent feeling for me here in Estonia.
  

That's about all I have to share for now (and perhaps all you want to know) about my life in this small Baltic country that is ever so slowly getting under my skin.