The secrets of being Estonian...

A friend forwarded a blog piece and email forward to me (found here and here), and I cannot resist but share it with all of you who still have questions about where I live and who lives here. It is a list of all the secrets of being Estonian... After a year and a half, I can chuckle at most of them, and, with a little imagination, you can certainly begin to imagine what it must like to be here. I have modified the list a bit to whittle it down, and I have included my own commentary in colored ink after the item in the list.

1. You use the word ‘normal’ if something is ok. This is true -- I hear it all the time and even start to use it myself!
2. When visiting friends abroad you bring along a box of Kalev chocolate. (the local brand of chocolate that you have also probably received as a gift if I have visited)
3. You attended a song festival at least once either as a performer or as a spectator. (see the documentary I mentioned, The Singing Revolution)
4. You know that going to the sauna is 80% about networking and 20% about washing
5. You are nationalistic about Skype (it is actually an Estonian company)
6. ‘Kohuke’ belongs to your menu. These are funny little dessert bars made of kohupiim and covered with chocolate. I don't think they translate well, but they taste like mini-cheesecake bars covered with chocolate.
7. You declare your taxes on the internet like all modern people Can you imagine if the IRS was online? Can you imagine understanding your taxes well enough to be able to file them online? This is an intelligent place!
8. You actually believed for a while that Latvians had 6 toes per foot when you heard that as a child This is some sort of colorful local rivalry -- in the same way that we think of people from South Dakota or Iowa back home :)
9. You spent at least one midsummer in Saaremaa, Hiiumaa or one of the smaller islands Jaanipäev or midsummer is one of the biggest holidays of the year when Estonians make bonfires in the countryside in celebration of the summer solstice
10. Words like “veoauto”, “täieõiguslik” or “jää-äär” sound perfectly pronounceable to you These words seem completely crazy for an English speaker, but they do exist in abundance in Estonian. You just hold out the vowel longer if it is repeated. Craaaaaaaazy!
11. There can never be too much sarcasm
12. You are disappointed that Jaan Kross never got the Nobel prize in literature I am reading his works now and am also surprised -- he is truly a great!
13. It would not be surprising for English-speakers to find your name naughty (Peep, Tiit, Andres [sounds like undress]) or hippy (Rein, Rain) In addition to unusual names, I have to mention that it is also impossible to tell whether they are male or female. Any guesses?
14. You say ‘Noh’ (sounds like NO) even when you speak English, just to confuse people Nii... is also a pervasive filler, meaning "so..." You can even combine the two: Noni...
15. You would agree that wife-carrying is a real sport (at least as long as Estonians are winning) This is true -- you should see the media!
16. Your best friend’s girlfriend is your English teacher’s daughter and they live next door to your grandparents, who were colleagues with your adviser, who is friends with your… Yes, in a country of 1.3 million, everyone is related. It's worse than the area where my father comes from in North Dakota!
17. You think that any beverage below 20% is non-alcoholic Have I ever mentioned the popular local sport of drinking vodka straight out of the bottle in the park at night when it is -20 degrees?
18. You look in both directions before crossing the road, even if it’s a one-way street If you don't do this carefully, even when on a crosswalk, you may just not make it to the other side. During the dark months, people actually where reflectors and reflective tape on their jackets to avoid being mowed down
19. You grin very mysteriously when people ask about your national food Why is this? Because it consists of potatoes, meat, gravy, cabbage, and an assortment of dairy products? Hmmm... (see point about sarcasm, above)
    
20. You teach a non-Estonian speaker the word “Tänan” before “Aitäh” I don't understand this reference, but it is true. The trick is that I have heard exactly three people use "Tänan" since arriving in Estonia. Why do they teach a word that no one says?
21. When someone asks you “where is Estonia?” you quickly reply that it’s located in Northern Europe close to Finland… This shows the local perspective and identity. Who wants to be located by their powerful eastern neighbor?
22. Sour cream tastes good with everything Indeed, it is served ubiquitously along with dill, the Estonian national spice
23. You have ever worn or seen anyone wear “karupüksid” The literal translation is something like "bear pants." They must have been the precursor to ski pants because I haven't seen anyone wearing bear pants lately!
    
24. You find yourself continually ignoring the gender in other languages My students sometimes have difficulty with pronouns in English. The words he and she do not exist in Estonian. They simply have ta that is used for both genders. A confusing place, if you ask me.
25. When someone says “Estonia is so beautiful” you answer almost without emotions “I know” A lovely contrast of local culture... extreme pride + reticence to emotional expression. Besides, I know that it really is true!