Semana de Português

Speaking a foreign language as an adult is one of the most humbling experiences. We aren't used to taking risks. We are not used to purposefully putting ourselves into vulnerable situations in which we will look silly. We are not used to not having control. We are not used to being so aware of being bumbling idiots.

Portuguese is the 8th foreign language I have attempted to speak. I like the way it sounds and I feel like there is a chance of success, especially as we have three years here and it does not have an impossible grammatical system like Russian or Estonian. They say that language learning gets easier, and I am sure that I am proof of that. However, I feel differently about my learning now than I might have when I was in my twenties as a Peace Corps Volunteer or when I was teaching in Mexico. I'm more afraid, less precocious, and more aware of the impression I am creating.

The context here is helpful. So few people speak English with confidence that communication requires bumbling and ineloquent employment of the target language. There is an assumption by Brazilians that you speak the language. There are many Americans here who speak Portuguese with impressive fluidity -- my colleagues are all living in Brazil for the second, third, or fourth time. Several of them have Brazilian spouses and children. It is completely necessary and a little intimidating, to be honest.

This week I had a big breakthrough. I participated in conversations and gave presentations to three national bodies in Portuguese, sometimes spontaneously and sometimes with remarks that I wrote (errors and all) in Portuguese myself. The National Board of Education, Pro-Rectors of Federal Institutes, the Council of State Secretariats of Education... I think in a past life I would have felt more confident about the communicative successes, whereas now I have doubts about how I presented myself and how I might have been perceived by my own staff during those interactions. However, no calamity happened. No one died from bad grammar. And I have that small triumph on which I can build the next encounters.