#30: Shaken but not stirred

Some of you that have communicated with me more recently know that I have had a particularly trying student enrolled in one of my courses. This student and I have a horrible relationship that has festered since the first string of episodes last October. Without going into further detail, I can say that this person rattles me like none other. Unconscientious responses to his peers and directly to me, overtly rude behavior, and aggressive verbal behavior directed towards all in his vicinity continue to rub me the wrong way. In response to polite or responsive input from others, this student continues to be disrespectful in a way that I cannot understand or deal with very successfully. Encounters with him give me the jitters (hence the shaken) and many times leave me stirred (confused/hurt/frustrated enough to shut down the productivity and positiveness of my day). I cannot remember adult behavior so intentionally destructive to others and self. As an educator, I feel sorry for this student and continue to want to help and learn. As a person, I oscillate between angry and hurt. But that isn't the point of this post in my Lenten series. The objective of this string of blog post is to raise up those things that brighten and enhance the journey.

I resisted being stirred today. This student and I had another encounter in which student behavior was unthoughtful, unresponsive, rude, and consistently cold. I knew the encounter would happen all morning and could feel the adrenalin rush before the shake down conference. Thanks to the supportive environment (my stellar officemate in the front of the line) I work in, I did not allow my day to be ruined. I'm moving on and taking ownership of only my own actions and behaviors... and I am very thankful for those cheerleading colleagues and friends around me that have helped me survive this interpersonal professional journey.