Remembering Gussy

The moments we have together can be so fleeting and can seem so inconsequential. Life is structured that way, I suppose, so that humans don't realize how precious each moment is or how normal interactions shape who we are. In this post, I want to share my rememberings about my dad's youngest sister who passed away two days after her 52nd birthday in November from cancer. I am not sure that there are any words that make her death less tragic. She was the aunt who still lived on the farm when I was a little girl, the one most available to us when we visited. Although we did not see each other often in recent years, I have many memories connected to her  - and most of them make me smile. It's strange, isn't it, how family and friends are in our lives and, whether in the foreground or background, they comprise important bits of our stories.

So, in the form of a small tribute, I would like to share some of the scraps of memories I have about my Aunt Stephanie, although we called her Gussy.

• When we were kids, she lived on the farm and was still in school. After all, she was only a decade older than me! We went to watch her cheer lead at some basketball games. When she was at home on the farm, she would read stories with us, bake cookies and cakes, and sometimes sit down at the piano and play. She and my other aunts would play with my long hair. I loved the attention. My brother and I loved to visit the farm in part because of my youngest aunt hanging around.
• I can remember going outside to climb and play on bails of hay during a particular Christmas visit in the snow. We ascended to hide and peek down on one another. I can also remember riding in the car with her and cranking up the music. It was so cool.
• Once I wrote a letter to the farm and addressed it "Uncle Gus" as a joke that seemed funny to me as an adolescent. My Uncle Steve and my Aunt Gussy didn't open it for some time because they weren't sure who it was for! That was goofy.
• My two youngest aunts were really close and lived together in a nearby town when they were probably in their twenties. Joe and I got to visit and hang out with them in Bowman. That was really cool! My memories do not totally connect but I can remember them taking us cruising and also to the movies, perhaps to get us to be sleepy so we wouldn't be so attentive at a movie that kids normally wouldn't watch... We also made cookies, of course.
• When my aunt went to school for a while in Dickinson, we exchanged old-fashioned, snail mail letters. I loved pen pals and had several. Aunt Gussy wrote back and forth with me quite a bit to tell me her happenings and respond to mine. Even in the last years, I would pop a postcard in the mail now and then to randomly say hello. Sometimes, my aunt would send me a card with a stick of gum in it. That always made me smile. It's kind of cute, right?
• There were a lot of celebrations that happened in North Dakota. Anniversary parties for my grandparents and the weddings of almost all of my aunts and uncles. This was a blast. Getting dressed up and running around with the other kids, watching the grown ups dance, and just enjoying the big family. I remember my aunt at these events as she paid attention to all of us rugrats. I even remember her pretty (and fun) wedding when I must have been in junior high school!
• Gussy had a really dry sense of humor that made people laugh. She made up a song about Missoula, Montana that still sticks in my memory. She would tell stories about her dog that were hilarious. Some of her jokes weren't very funny except for the telling. We loved her for that.
• I really looked forward to seeing my aunt as an adult and thought it was cool to have her around. She visited my family in Wyoming when I was a teenager and lived with us for a short while. Because they lived "Out West" (to my family this means Washington state), we didn't see each other often. But I do remember looking forward to seeing my aunt when there were gatherings here and there. It was always special when they came, and I was super excited when she came to celebrate my wedding to Uli a decade ago. 
• When I went to Seattle for a conference a couple of years ago, we met up for an evening to have dinner and wander around the city. She and Troy were great hosts, and I enjoyed reconnecting with them. In fact, we talked about coming out to visit at some point with Uli. That would have been fun.

All in all, I would not say that my aunt and I were particularly close in recent years. But she will always be part of my tribe and a piece of my story. It is heartbreaking that she left us all so soon and was so sick. It happened so fast and so unexpectedly. I loved that even when she must have been feeling really icky, we exchanged emails, often with her stories of baby bunnies in the yard or a short note about her faith and peace. I imagine this small tribute might have made her smile - I hope it would have - and she may have had other stories to add. I'm grateful that these shiny fragments remain to remember the moments we shared together. Rest in peace, Aunt Gussy.