It only takes a spark

The weather over the last couple of months has been rather want of sun, a bit dreary and lifeless. A minimum requirement for my own survival has always been related to light. Coming from the sunny, blue, endless skies of Wyoming, I have deeply rooted in me a need to revel in the sun of all seasons: the hot, bright tireless sun of the summer, the warm glow of autumn, the frigid, crispy waning light of winter, and the new, green flickering of spring's promises. Estonia has been a rather harsh place to land from this perspective. A Nordic country that still boasts more light than its neighbors to the north, Estonia, nonetheless, has some rather brief winter days and gloomy, sunless moments. This year, due to warmer temperatures (global warming?), the weather remained overcast and even the precious daylight hours were at best marking a movement from black to gray rather than night to day.

Without realizing it, I, too, lost a bit of my own light this winter. Recovering from busy holidays and a full semester, I have had the energy level of a hibernating bear, wanting to "wake to sleep and take my waking slow" as Roethke says. Listless, unmotivated, blah, blue, exhausted, brooding, and perhaps a bit lukewarm, I found it easy to let go of the fire usually pushing me forward and sending me into the world with a bit of glowing enthusiasm and wonder.

It only takes a spark...

My lukewarm reverie was thankfully broken during an energizing visit to Budapest. Two colleagues and I left Eestimaa behind for southernly Hungary for a regional mid-year conference for English Language Fellows and their colleagues. Meeting with other Fellows working in incredibly complex and challenging environments, sharing experiences and perspectives, having conversations with other language teaching professionals -- most of whom are tireless advocates of their students and fearless innovators working in difficult political and educational environments -- was inspiring. Spending time with other Americans and their multinational colleagues who value traveling and understand the intriguing and troubling aspects of language teaching fanned a bit of my remaining flame. (It didn't hurt, of course, that the days in Hungary are far longer than in Tartu!)

I returned with an incredible amount of respect for the energy and dynamism that I was surrounded by while I visited and also a new store of my own fire for living abroad, exploring new places, engaging new people, tackling another obscure foreign language, delighting in my friends, and digging into my projects here in Tartu (check them out on my new homepage at jennu.net)

Hats off and thank you to all plucky adventurers, travelers, and language teachers out there!


A few other associations that come to mind with these sorts of sunning and waking wanings, reappearances, and transformations:

It only takes a spark, to get a fire going and soon all those around, can warm up it it's glowing. ~ Camp song

So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
Revelation 3:14-19