In Coherent Thought

I have decided that there is reason to be wary of someone who begins a sequence of ideas with "I've been thinking about..." Somehow, it suggests too much premeditation and over-thunkenness and probably forebodes that something totally incoherent is to follow.

That said, I've been thinking . . .

My inner monologue has gotten pretty active these last few weeks. I suspect anyone who spends time alone has a fair amount of talk going on in his or her head. If you magnify this time by traveling or moving around a lot, I think you develop not just an inner monologue but rather an entire dialogue. I have entire conversations with myself on some days (some of them quite good!). Although I am somewhat aware that I often talk to myself while at home or at work, I never thought that I would be one of those crazy people on the streets talking to an imaginary person or into a pretend cellular phone. I thought I had this habit in check. However, I guess it's hard to keep this habit in check when I am overwhelmed by something else. I caught myself in steady conversation while shopping this weekend.

Ah! Consumerism. I officially am done with shopping for the moment. It's gotten cold here in the last week. My summer/fall things simply aren't going to cut it. There were sales. I went shopping. I visited every single shop in the central area of town. Twice. Sweaters. Jackets. Coats. Boots. There are some serious winter items for sale here, and I suspect they might just be the early fall items. Yikes. Indecision. Paralyzed by choice. I talked to myself. Saleswoman convinced me the coat I had initially chosen would not be warm enough. I gave up on shopping. Went back the next day. Calculated my budget. Talked to myself a lot. Went back the next day. Decided the woman didn't know what she was talking about. (Her level of competency in English was not convincing). Tried the coat on. More dialogue with myself. Bought the coat. Alas! I am prepared to be warmly-clad this winter as I wander the streets whispering to myself in completely coherent thought.

That said, I should probably begin having some dialogues with myself in Estonian. I have a big test tomorrow (5 chapters!) and should be a bit stressed about the amount of competency I am expected to demonstrate. I just didn't feel up to memorizing bajillions of new vocabulary items that I have never spoken aloud in class, let alone in inner dialogues or with a real, live Estonian! We'll see how it all goes when I get there tomorrow.

One last ramble before I go. To ease your minds, I have been meeting plenty of interesting and fun people here in Estonia and have even perhaps made a friend or two. I was inspired by a video I saw this morning, and I thought maybe I could also advertise free hugs as an icebreaker? Or would that be too strange? :)

The Free Hug Campaign