This post may be a bit of a linguistic abstraction, but I think that the "please" phenomenon must also be a reflection of Indonesian culture. So, bear with me.
Today, I had my first Indonesian class in Jakarta. Funnily, almost everything I learned in the course I took in the U.S. seems to have fallen out of my head while flying over the Pacific. Not everything, but it felt like it.
My teacher chose to focus our lesson on giving polite commands. Good choice - who doesn't like to order people around and be polite at the same time? Sounds basic enough. Please, thank you, you're welcome. But, alas, English is such a simplistic language. What the Indonesian language may lack in grammatical complexity it must make up for in the subtleties of its pragmatics. Let's try some examples. I've highlighted the "please" word for you.
1)
Tolong dengarkan radio! = Please listen to the radio. (
Tolong indicates that I want you to do something.)
2)
Silakan masuk. = Please enter. (
Silakan indicates that the direction is an invitation and you have a choice to do it if you wish.)
3)
Coba buka mulut. = Please open your mouth. (
Coba is a please used by positions of authority such as doctors or elders when giving a direct instruction.)
4)
Jangan merokok di kamar saya. = Please do not smoke in my room. (
Jangan is used with negative imperatives to indicate something that I do not wish you to do.)
5)
Dilarang merokok di sini. = Please do not smoke here. (
Dilarang is used with rules and regulations. I think it must be equivalent to the German "verboten.")
6)
Mohon maaf lahir batin. = Please I apologize from the inside and outside. (
Mohon is used with a specific phrase Muslims use on Idul Fitri when asking for forgiveness.)
7)
Harap tenang. Ada ujian. = Please be quiet. There are exams. (
Harap is used with formal commands.)
You could argue that semantically not all seven of these words are exactly equivalent to please. However, my Indonesian tutor represented them in that way. And, based on my first thirteen days here, I can imagine the kind, gentle Indonesians I have met so far prefacing every command with a softening device such as please. It's a good reminder to mind one's Ps and Qs (and a host of other letters)!